


it's crazy (my thoughts start racing)

by butimalsonothappy



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: "Annabelle", "Happy Death Day", "It" (2017), "The Conjuring", "The Visit", M/M, Move Night, Panic Attacks, enjoy, im soft for wonah and jonah so, the movies they watch are as follows:, this is rushed towards the end cause i wanna get both of my wips out before 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2019-12-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butimalsonothappy/pseuds/butimalsonothappy
Summary: "Jonah felt like a baby halfway through “The Conjuring”. The first movie hadn’t been bad but then the second movie was disturbing and kind of terrifying. He almost died on the next two. They had decided to only watch the first “It” tonight because they were having a double sleepover so they were going to watch the second part tomorrow, well, later that day.“It was real enough for Georgie!” Jonah shrieked, spilling the popcorn bowl everywhere around him. He was scrunched up in a corner of the couch because he had been scooting farther and farther into the corner as the movies played."or,Jonah has a panic attack on a squad movie night and Walker is there for him, as always
Relationships: Amber/Andi Mack, Buffy Driscoll/Marty, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen, Jonah Beck/Walker Brodsky
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	it's crazy (my thoughts start racing)

**_‘But I just walk through the motions_ **

**_Either that, or losing track of my emotions_ **

**_4 a.m. panic attacks’_ **

Having a horror movie marathon wasn’t one of the squad’s best ideas. The squad, in this case, being Andi, Buffy, Cyrus, TJ, Marty, Jonah, Amber, and Walker. Starting the marathon five hours before they went to sleep wasn’t a good idea either. First, they watched “Happy Death Day”, then “The Visit”, then “Annabelle”, then “The Conjuring”, then “It”. 

Jonah felt like a baby halfway through “The Conjuring”. The first movie hadn’t been bad but then the second movie was disturbing and kind of terrifying. He almost died on the next two. They had decided to only watch the first “It” tonight because they were having a double sleepover so they were going to watch the second part tomorrow, well, later that day. 

_ “It was real enough for Georgie!”  _ Jonah shrieked, spilling the popcorn bowl everywhere around him. He was scrunched up in a corner of the couch because he had been scooting farther and farther into the corner as the movies played. 

Andi paused the movie with the remote that she had to stretch halfway across the floor to reach and turned to Jonah with a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay, Jonah? Do you want to turn it off?” Clearly, he looked like he can’t breathe, which he couldn’t. 

“No, I’m fine. Just, play the movie I guess.” Jonah shrugged as he tried to regain his breath by hiding his face in the blanket on his lap. 

“Okay...let me know if you want to stop watching it, I guess.” Andi went to play the movie but Jonah stopped her quickly. 

“Actually, can we just go to bed? I’m kinda tired.” He fake yawned to make sure he was selling it. Walker was sitting next to him now and put an arm around his shoulders, patting his shoulder absent-mindedly while he watched the conversation. 

“Sure. I’m kinda tired, too, honestly.” Cyrus piped up from the floor in TJ’s embrace. 

“Okay then. We can go to bed.” Andi turned off the TV and they all untangled themselves from whoever they were wrapped in; Andi from Amber, Buffy from Marty, Cyrus from TJ, and Jonah awkwardly from Walker. See, Jonah definitely liked Walker, but he was in no way ready to admit that to anyone but himself. 

About ten minutes later, Jonah looked around the room seeing everyone asleep. The air in the room was stuffy as if he were trying to sleep in a green room. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he carefully walked to the front door, checking to make sure everyone was still asleep, before opening and closing the door quietly as he went out. 

He could immediately breathe easier and took multiple deep breaths. The sky was surprisingly clear for the storm they had earlier that day when they decided to meet up at Andi’s. 

He could see every star and started counting one patch of them until he heard a noise. He held his breath, it sounded like someone or something walking in water but there were no puddles outside of Andi’s house, just a storm drain. Oh, a storm drain. 

_ Where Georgie died because of a demonic clown?  _ That did nothing to help him at the moment.  _ Oh my god, am I going to die because of some demon clown?  _ He knew it wasn’t rational, but he couldn’t help it. 

Before he knew it, his breath was gone from his body, as if he were back in that green room and he couldn’t get his breath back no matter how much air he gulped in. His heart was moving far too fast for his liking. His chest was rising and falling too fast. His hands were shaking, he couldn’t see anything clearly, he didn’t have one complete thought. The world started tilting and his heart somehow moved even faster because,  _ Oh my god, I’m going to die outside of my best friend’s house because I can’t breathe and this demon clown is going to get me and take me with him down to the sewer.  _

Inside the house, Walker woke up because he couldn’t feel Jonah beside him on the couch anymore. Luckily the window was right above where he was laying, all he had to do was sit up and look outside to see Jonah grabbing onto the pillar for his life, panting heavily. 

Immediately scared, he threw off the covers and got to the door, pausing to make sure no one woke up and then walked outside. Jonah didn’t seem to hear him, he just kept gasping for air, whispering ‘help’ over and over again. 

Walker didn’t know what to do, Jonah had only told him about his panic attacks two hours ago when they had a commercial about anxiety meds. He walked over to Jonah carefully, not wanting to scare him more than he was already. 

“Jonah?” It was a whisper that came from behind him where only the door was but still, it could be from the storm drain across the street. The voice was warm and familiar yet still, tears were starting to sting his face as he somehow grew more panicked. 

“Jonah. Turn around, it’s okay, I’m here now.” Walker put a hand on his shoulder and started turning him around to face him. 

What he saw was so much worse than what he could have predicted, would have wanted for anyone. Jonah’s eyes were wide, terrified, leaking with tears. His forehead was matted with his unbrushed hair and the sweat pouring from his hairline. He looked so pale, almost like a vampire shade. His chest was rising and falling too fast, it looked like he couldn’t even keep up with his overworking lungs. It almost looked like he was barely able to hold himself up like his legs couldn’t hold up the weight anymore. 

If you asked Jonah what was happening right now, he would say he didn’t know. This wasn’t his normal panic attack. His thoughts weren’t coherent and his vision was too blurred to even see Walker right in front of him. He was nauseous, which never happened in his panic attacks. 

And before Jonah could even think about anything that was happening, his vision was black and he was falling. 

When he woke up, he immediately tried to stand but was restricted from behind. He whipped his head around to come face to face with Walker, looking worried out of his mind. Jonah was laying across Walker’s leg and chest like he was a Raggedy Ann doll. He noticed that his head was still pounding and he was still dizzy and confused. 

“What happened?” Jonah asked looking from left to right, all the way around from Andi and back to Walker. He was just noticing that everyone else was awake and the lights were on now. He blinked a couple of times from the brightness. 

Walker cleared his throat as if to make his voice sound normal, “You, um, kind of had a panic attack and then passed out.” 

“Oh,” and Jonah could feel the tears burn his eyes and cloud up his vision for being so stupid. How could he have done this? He just woke everyone up because he couldn’t keep his stupid panicking under control for once. 

He jumped out of Walker’s arms when he pulled back a little and ran to the bathroom, locking himself in. From the sound of his crying, no,  _ sobbing _ , he couldn’t hear the voices of his friends calling his name from the other side of the door. Were they yelling, or were they whispering, or were they saying it as a question? It didn’t matter, he couldn’t hear them. 

Then he heard one,  _ only one _ , voice, “Jonah? Can I please come in? Everybody else went back to the couch, it’s just me. I promise.” Walker. He should have known that everyone would leave them alone together. 

“Okay,” Jonah murmured, unlocking the door with one hand and wiping his eyes harshly with the other. 

Walker had the common courtesy to shut and lock the door again behind him, Jonah made a mental note to thank him later. He walked towards Jonah, wrapping his left arm around his shoulder as he slid down the wall to sit. Jonah leaned into it, not even a little embarrassed for being touchy. He wished he could say that his cheeks didn’t go red just from being that close to the artist, but of course they did. Stupid emotions. “Jonah, are you okay?” 

He hated the way Walker had asked, like he was a little kid whose dog just died. He hated the way Walker genuinely seemed to care about him. He hated the way that his eyes burned again, as if he would never be able to live this down. He hated the feeling of his throat aching with tears soon to come. He hated the way his lip quivered when he opened his mouth, he hated that it made Walker try to rephrase the question. He hated how his voice came out when he could finally talk. 

“No,” his voice was scratchy and quiet, a whisper at most. If the floor could have swallowed him whole at that moment, he would have let it. It would save him the embarrassment of the past few minutes. “I mean, I know I’m obviously not but there’s so many other meanings of that question and I don’t really know what you mean this time so I’m not sure how to answer that. But if you mean what apparently just happened to me, no, I’m very much not okay, and I don’t think I ever will be.” He was able to rant, even in his scratchy whispery voice, that somehow grew steadier but still a low voice, just above a whisper. 

Shocked by the amount of stuff Jonah just unloaded on him, Walker paused for a moment before breathing in one deep breath and starting, “Jonah, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here, don’t forget that. I know I just started hanging out with you guys again, but that doesn’t mean I’m not here for you or any of the rest of them.” Walker had just started hanging with them again because Andi ran into him at SAVA and thought they should try again, but only as friends this time. “I promise, you just need to say something and I’ll drop everything I’m doing and come to you if you really need me to.”

“Thanks, Walker.” Jonah watched in silence as Walker linked their hands together and sat them on one of each of their knees, Jonah’s right and Walker’s left. 

“Is this okay?” Walker whispered, as if he knew what he was doing was so risky and could ruin what they had so easily. 

“Yes, totally okay,” and if Jonah went to sleep a little easier that night, well, no one had to know. 

**_‘It's just too easy to fake a smile_ **

**_But you got my heartbeat on repeat_ **

**_Going 'bout a hundred thousand miles’_ **

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed! This was a WIP for about 3 (three) months. The idea actually came from my life when I almost had a panic attack when my friend and I were watching "The Visit" a couple years ago. sorry if this sucked towards the end and was really rushed but 2020 is coming and I wanted all my fics out before then so here I am. (next up is the second chapter to "but i got you this rose (and i need to know)")


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